8. Learn how to tell a joke.
If your jokes fall flatter than Kate Moss's abs, maybe it's the way you're telling them. Eighty percent of a joke's effectiveness lies in the delivery, 20 percent in the content. "Make your tone conversational," says comedy writer Mark Simone. Don't talk too slowly; you want to sound like you're telling a joke, not reciting one. "And smile a lot," he says. "If it doesn't go over, just laugh and say, 'Well, I thought it was funny.'"

9. Renew a childhood passion.
Try pottery. Perfect your Pictionary game. Take your piano skills from "Chopsticks" to Chopin.

10. Do something you hate for someone you love.
Lunch with his mom, his college reunion (complete with kegger), or a movie that's long on action and short on plot.

11. Add color to your life. Buy a sweater in cerulean.
Paint your living room a dramatic red. Vivid colors can boost your mood. And really, who could possibly be blue in purple?

12. Stop with the why-ning.
"Why?" is a perfectly lovely question coming from a toddler, but not from you. Why am I stuck in this stupid job? Why don't I have a better boyfriend? A better question: "How?" How do I get a better job, a better guy?

13. Find a bra that fits.
Because right now, we're guessing that yours doesn't (a study showed that eight out of 10 women don't know their correct bra size). To prevent cups that runneth over and underwires that dig, get a pro to measure you at your local department store. Or try the Bra Size Calculator at balicompany.com

14. Learn to say no.
Put your tongue against the back of your top teeth, make an oval shape with your mouth, and let go. Feels good, no?